Stop asking your son: "How was your day?"

Mrs Lauren Riley, Head of our Junior Primary School at St Charles College, shares simple ways to help young boys open up about their school day.

Stop asking your son: "How was your day?" He will probably say "fine" every time. That isn't because he doesn't want to talk. He just doesn't know how to open the conversation yet.

Instead, try asking:

Who did you sit with at snack time? This tells you about the social landscape.

What was one weird thing that happened today? It bypasses the "summary brain" and makes him search for a specific moment.

What was hard today? "Hard" is neutral, and everyone has something. When he answers, don't try to fix it. Just say, "Yes, that sounds hard” and then wait. If he wants to go deeper, he will.

What did your teacher say that you remember? This tells you what the classroom feels like.

If today was a colour, what would it be? His answer will come quickly because there's no way to overthink it. When he answers, don't ask why. Simply respond with yours.

The questions you ask shape what your son pays attention to. These ones may help unlock what he already wants to tell you and help him put his experiences into words.

Or skip the questions entirely. Drive together, work together, do something side by side. Boys don't always open up in conversation... they open up in moments.

Listen beyond the "fine". Be curious. Be present. Be their safe place.